Woman buys Christmas gift for friend's 11-year-old stepdaughter, her husband complains she's being inappropriate: 'He said it was a waste of money'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 3, 2024 6:00 PM EST

It might be supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but not everybody finds the Christmas period to be easy. For those who have a difficult time being around family, it can be especially stressful and if you are a kid who experiences this, it can only make the whole thing even more impactful.

This can also be the time of year when a simple, kind gesture goes a long way, which is what one woman attempted to do for her friend's stepdaughter. The girl was struggling to adjust to her dad and stepmom having a new baby, so she wanted to buy her a Christmas gift along with her friend's biological child. However, her husband took issue with this and argued with her about it in the store. She questioned if she had done something wrong, but the internet had her back and there was a happy ending.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10436256768
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for buying my friends stepdaughter a gift?
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 03
    I just had an argument with my husband about this and just wanted to know if I'm in the wrong. For some background, my friend recently had a baby with her boyfriend, and also has a stepdaughter (11f) from his previous relationship, I'll call the stepdaughter 'Eve', who stays with them every other weekend.
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 04
    I've met Eve a few times, and she's a sweet girl. She's quiet and shy, but is also creative and tries to join in and interact with others. She likes talking to me because I also like arts and crafts, and I try to make a real effort in asking about how's she's been, and she likes showing me her drawings and latest creations. Unfortunately, when she comes over the adults tend to ignore her or talk to her for 30 seconds then stop. Which is why she likes talking to me so much.
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 05
    Eve is also having some trouble adjusting to having a new sibling. She used to have her own room at her dad's house (2 bedroom), but it's now been turned into a nursery for the baby with a loft bed for her when she stays over, so she now shares with the baby. She's also made comments that the baby had "replaced" her, and that everyone loves the baby more than her. I've told my friend about this, but she just said Eve is being a "brat" and will get over it eventually. Before anyone says anything,
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 06
    I went shopping for Christmas gifts with my husband, and saw a small craft set that I thought Eve would like. It wasn't expensive, so I put it in the trolley. My husband asked who it was for, and when I said Eve, he started arguing with me in the middle of the shop. He said Eve had nothing to do with me and that it was a waste of money. That it was a stupid thing to do and her parents should get her gifts, not me. I argued that I think it's unfair to give 1 child a gift and not the other, that I
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 07
    Am I in the wrong? I know Eve isn't my responsibility, but I feel christmas is for kids, and thought I was doing something nice. The gift cost less than £15, we have separate accounts and both make decent money.
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 08
    VideoGamesAndBoobies NTA at all. I can't think of one single reason why your husband would think this was appropriate in any way? Getting one child a gift and not the other would be so mean. Especially as you've built up a bit of a bond with this kid. Huge red flag on your husbands part, I say get the gift anyway. I bet she'd appreciate it so much
    via VideoGamesAndBobies
  • 09
    _s1m0n_s3z I think you were being very kind, and thoughtful. I think you should go back and get your friend Eve the gift. NTA The other child is a BABY. Who will likely be snowed under with gifts, and will not notice that Eve got something they did not
    via _s1m0n_s3z
  • 10
    AwkwardLittleMush OP I'm the baby's godmother, so I've gotten them a gift too (a set of childrens story books). I personally feel that it's cruel to go into a house with 2 children and give only 1 a gift, especially when the one getting a gift has no idea what's happening
    via AwkwardLittleMush
  • 11
    LingonberryPrior6896 I agree. I think going to someone's home for Christmas should include (at least) a small gift for everyone
    via LingonberryPrior6896
  • 12
    UnluckyDiet525 As a child that grew up in a similar situation you have no idea how appreciative that little girl will be of you getting her a gift. I 100% think it's the right thing to do. Eve is a part of your friends family and you buying her a gift is treating her as such
    via UnluckyDiet525
  • 13
    Hungry-Book NTA. I don't understand why buying a gift for Eve is so wrong. Tell your husband to kick rocks
    via Hungry-Book
  • 14
    Next-Wishbone1404 Your husband seems kinda mean. NTA.
    via Next-Wishbone1404
  • 15
    LeonardsMom NTA. I honestly can't even figure out your husband's reaction. Why would he care if you bought someone's kid a gift? It just seems like a nice thing to do... his reaction is bizarre. I don't think your reaction was over the top. I probably would have reacted similarly because I would have just been so frustrated and confused. Mostly just confused!
    via LeonardsMom
  • 16
    Future Direction5174 I remember when my brother was born. So many visitors would arrive to coo over the new baby, the first boy in the family. Whilst most of the adults greeted me, that was it. I also fondly remember how some of them not only also bought a gift for me, but made the effort to take some time to chat to me and make sure that I felt appreciated. I even got a "Big Sister" card. The midwife who delivered my brother, also made sure that my brother had a gift to give me in the morning w
    via Future_Directions5174
  • 17
    Worth-Season3645 NTA... Your husband is a dolt. Why does he care so much over a small gift for a child? Why dies he need to argue so much over this? Christmas is about giving. Not only gifts, but from the heart. He seems to have forgotten that aspect of the holiday.
    via Worth-Season3645
  • 18
    Practical-Mindset ΝΤΑ You were buying her a gift for Christmas. Buying kids gifts for Christmas is a normal thing to do unless it not practiced in a culture. Plus, just she is not your responsibility does not mean you cannot buy her a gift. Does this mean that he cannot buy anyone of his friends or his friends kid's gifts on their birthdays when he is invited to a birthday party because none of those people are his responsibility. His reasoning for this does not make sense to me
    via Practical-Mindset
  • 19
    Nice_Ad_1583 NTA. My ex-husband used to get mad at me when I would buy things for my friend's kids. One year I made candy baskets for Halloween for some of the neighborhood kids because we had a lot of kids in our neighborhood and I knew and occasionally hung out with some of their moms. I wasn't super good friends with some of the kids' moms, but they were acquaintances and mutual friends. He would say that it was a waste of money too. I never understood because I was the one making all the mon
    via Nice_Ad_1583
  • 20
    flynena-3 NTA! That was very kind of thoughtful of you and your husband was absolutely being an a-h_e about it! You are correct, it's your money and your decision. Please go back and get that gift to give to her. She's lucky to have someone that she feels she can connect with and talk to, so don't let him dampen that.
    via flynena-3
  • 21
    SavingsRhubarb8746 I haven't the slightest idea why your husband thinks it's wrong to buy anyone a Christmas present - the fact that this recipient is a child you know makes it all the more appropriate for you to buy her something. NTA
    via SavingsRhubarb8746
  • 22
    Key-Canary-2513 NTA. She is family through and through. Shame on your husband to suggest somehow she's not worthy of affection and gestures of thoughtfulness.
    via Key-Canary-2513

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